Dear readers, stay safe out there. Summer has just started for a few weeks and the calamities keep piling up. Wildfires are engulfing Canada and sending toxic air across the northern United States. The Supreme Court will allow nothing to stop them from protecting white America, be it logic, reason, or even cases rooted in true events. And, as I write this, we’re only weeks away from the Emmy nominations, where voters will almost certainly give 15-25 valuable and prestigious nominations to the wreck that is season three of “Ted Lasso.” staying indoors with bad TV but better air, or venturing outside, where it’s still summer but the act of breathing can make you pass out.
Netflix, the streamer made for bingeing, is just a little help this month. July’s offerings feature two potentially ideal summer getaways: ‘The Witcher’ is a fantasy adventure so wild it’s impossible to look away. There are berserko monsters, wacky baths, and creative expletives galore, all led by the charming weirdo that is Henry Cavill. So enjoy! …for a few hours. The first five episodes will be released in late June, so the best July TV outing will be just three hours long, or on an average Friday night. The second best new show is 10 full episodes, albeit half-hour rumors, although this is so far unproven. “Survival of the Thickest” stars Michelle Buteau in a sitcom based on her book of essays (of the same name). Our high hopes are well justified—Buteau has been stealing scenes and winning hearts for years now—but like any freshman series, there’s no telling how she’s going to turn out until she falls over.
As for the rest, well, read on and find out. I think it would be a stretch to label any July offering a “gourmet cheeseburger,” but there’s at least a bite or two of Chili’s Chicken. Whatever you decide, just remember to take care of yourself. It might be a cruel summer, but you still deserve the best.
